


Awareness

by ki_wi



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pining, Sleepovers, anri is mentioned, or in an au, orginally written as a twt thread, takes place before yellow scarves arc probably, whatever makes more sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24530032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ki_wi/pseuds/ki_wi
Summary: Masaomi longs for something he doesn't even know if he can have.
Relationships: Kida Masaomi/Ryuugamine Mikado
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Awareness

Gosh, he yearns. Everytime they talk, he longs to hold him in his arms. He wants to reach for him, pull him close, and never let go. He wants to run his fingers through his hair, and, holy shit, He wants to kiss him.

He wants to kiss him.

He wants to kiss him.

Masaomi wants to hold his hands, and tell him it's going to be alright. Masaomi wants to hug him, giving a mean glare to whoever was bothering him. He wants to laugh with him, and cry with him.

Masaomi  
wants  
to kiss him.

But he can't. There was no way he could. Because Mikado loved Anri, right? That much was true.

Mikado chased after her, leaving him to wander behind, reaching out a hand out of curiosity to see if it would even make it to him.

He always sighed in defeat.  
The most you can do  
is be happy for him, right? If they end up together  
the most you can do  
is support them,  
right?

Even if it hurts.

  
Even if it stings.

  
Even if it makes you want to scream.

  
Stay with them.

Right?

He grips at his hair, yelling curtly, before his hands drift down before cover his eyes.

He's crying into them.

"Masaomi?"

That voice seemed to sing... even though Masaomi knew Mikado was no good at singing. He wants to laugh, but he doesn't want to frighten Mikado anymore than he already has. Gosh, he hates himself.

"Are you ok?"

No. Why would I be? He wants to say.

"Yeah! I'm a-okay!"

"But you're crying."

"...Am I?"

"What happened?"

"Sorry... I just thought about a book I read."

"Masaomi... you don't like books."

Masaomi wants to scream at him to just go away. He wants to run.

  
Run.

  
Run.

  
Run.

...

Just like you did from Saki.

It makes him burst into tears further more, and Mikado panics. The gentle, caring feeling of those certain fingers on his shoulders managed to bring him to a sense of calm he never thought he would achieve tonight.

He looks at him. Longing. Yearning. And Mikado looks at him. Concerned. Confused.

"You don't understand a single fucking thing, do you?"

"Masaomi-?"

"Dumbass."

He wants to kiss him there, but something stopped him.

It was Mikado, smiling back at him, warmly, finally knowing.

He chuckles lightly, before pressing his lips against Masaomi's. softly, lightly, like there was still air between them. He smiles more into the kiss.

"You weren't being very subtle, you know." he comments, another giggle.

Masaomi grips at the boy's shoulders, but just slumps to his knees, hugging at his legs loosely. Mikado goes down with him, that awful giggle following.

"You're insufferable." Masaomi comments, sobbing.

"I guess I am, aren't I?"

* * *

They remained like that for a while. Mikado petting Masaomi's head as the kid tried his damn best to calm down.

"Shh, it's ok."

He was being spoken to as if he were a toddler throwing a fit.

"I'm here."

How long _did_ he know? That Masaomi longed for a moment just like this? How long _did_ he know about his feelings? How long did Masaomi go about his pining, unaware that the boy he longed for was well aware?

Was he more aware of Masaomi's feelings than Masaomi himself?

Aware.

Awareness.

He fell into Mikado. exhausted, too tired to cry anymore.

Mikado rubbed his back soothingly, a small realization coming upon him that made him cut it out with his giggling and his smiling cease slightly. He went to hold his hand, something Masaomi took in the blink of an eye.

"My place isn't far," Mikado began. Masaomi was too drained to look at him with confused eyes. All he did was wonder what he was getting at. Mikado sighed.

"Would you like to stay for the night?"

Masaomi didn't respond with anything for a while, and Mikado waited patiently even in that.

Finally, the smallest nod.

* * *

Masaomi wanted to wait for Mikado's approval so badly. But he couldn't. He fell upon the futon, curling up as if he owned it. Mikado just laughed, and he took their school bags to set by the door.

As Mikado performed his nightly routine, Masaomi observed his every movement. Perhaps just out of his weird, still blooming love. He didn't think much of it.

Again, Mikado knew he was watching, and he turned to smile at him occasionally.

"Want to put on something more comfortable-?"

"NO."

Masaomi shot up. Mikado yelped. The blonde just sighed, pulling off his uniform jacket and tossing it to the floor, leaving him in his white hoodie. "I'll sleep in this."

The idea of borrowing Mikado's clothes made his head spin. It was way too early in the relationship for that.

In fact, it was too early for all of this. This entire scenario shouldn't be happening. Masaomi should be home in his own bed, not...

The lights shut off, and Mikado sat at his computer to type something unknown to Masaomi.

Because he made sure the monitor was covered.

How peculiar.

What was Mikado typing?

***

The boy smiled at the screen, observing his post to the website with glee.

"I brought the love of my life home."

Floods of congratulations and perverted comments were cut short by the monitor shutting off.

Mikado finally sunk down on the futon, Masaomi scooting over to make room.

So

What now?

They sort of awkwardly gazed at each other, clearing throats quietly. Finally, Masaomi decided to break the ice and speak.

"Hey, don't you still love Anri?"

Mikado laughed again. Masaomi punched him in the stomach.

"Yeah, I'll be honest, I still kinda do..."

"But my love for you isn't fake."

That was the first time Masaomi heard him say anything close to that. That he loved him.

"Is this a scheme?" he smirked, looking at him with a sort of suspicion and doubt. "Are you pretending to fall in love with me so i don't chase after Anri, then break my heart to the point where I'm incapable of loving again, so you can have her all to yourself?"

The two of them laughed.

"I could never come up with something like that." Mikado giggled, and Masaomi's heart was finally warm.

"Your smile is nice." Mikado whispered.

"You're one to talk." Masaomi responded.

And after another small kiss, they drifted off into sleep, fingers entangled lovingly.

**Author's Note:**

> originally written as a twitter thread!!! follow my twitter @mon0mons hehe


End file.
